Hell ENG
by N. Black - blackie
Summary: Third and last part of the "Stupid Smile" trilogy. Whilst arranging the graduation party Lily starts to see things more clearly, and with a mysterious strike of maturity, James may wihn her heart again.
1. Chapter 1

**D Day**

I hate myself, I hate myself, and I hate myself. The moment me and "united commission" for graduated entered the Great Hall I already knew there was something wrong – terribly wrong – with me. I mean, since I started my campaign for my theme to be the chosen for the ball, James – Meaning, Potter. POTTER. – Started his, and apparently Hogwarts obeys the mathematic law by which women shall outnumber men, therefore, support is with him. Of course the fact that Marlene got furious when she found out that Sirius was promising a kiss to each girl who yelled James' theme during raffle helped to decrease all this fuss around the choice, but I was still nervous.

"Good evening, everyone!" Dumbledore showed at his pulpit (?), all happy and merry as he always is. I guess he didn't know that the "united commission" was so not united that the only thing that prevented us from killing each other was the responsibility towards the other students. All of this because of the theme choice, can you believe such fraternity?

For the raffle Dumbledore used an old but useful tool, a felt hat with papers inside. What is magic for, right? And there, in front of our mortal deadly thoughts, he sorted the paper. But as we're talking about Dumbledore he couldn't just open the paper and read, right? He had to make a speech and make me feel even more nervous about it. I need a cup of coffee.

Oh, yes. Thanks to Potter and his mess during the Christmas holidays I developed a type of compulsion for coffee, which destroys my nerves in occasions like this and at the same time keeps me awake for hours on the eve of important events – such as a Transfiguration exam – besides making me have awkward, prophetic dreams.

"The graduation party is the most important night on a young wizard's life. Each one knows how deep our school affected their lives, and the way we celebrate won't change the fact that Hogwarts will always be there for those who need and ask. For many of your Hogwarts was not only a place of knowledge and study, and yet a second home, where our staff and teachers acted as mentors to brilliant minds which surely will make a brighter world in the future. It is with great pleasure that I announce that this year's theme for the seventh year graduation ball will be: Halloween out of Time!

It was as though something – such as my karma, who loves to mess around with me – picked all the feelings I've ever had my whole life and threw it inside a blender and then forced me to swallow. I felt frustrated, obviously, because my theme was clearly the best, but at the same time happy and relieved. At least Potter didn't win.

"It is good to remember that the school is counting on you so there won't be anything going wrong or mislead during the ball." Professor McGonagall told us the moment we stepped out of the Great Hall. "Mss. Evans and Mr. Potter, as head girl and head boy are responsible to assure that nothing goes wrong and the theme is well applied. The other members of the commission will, therefore, obey your commands. For any doubts you look for me or any other teacher."

"Well, Amy!" I called, and the girl who suggested the theme stepped forward, very happy for helping with something. "Write down everything we'll need for this ball, will you? Kile, you'll help me with the music, I need a list of bands, prices and etc for this week. Potter, where do you think you're going?"

I turned slowly to him, who – lazy as always – was already running as if I had just announced the theme would be "let's kill immoral cheater ex-boyfriend who destroy your self-confidence and makes you become compulsive for coffee"

"You." I growled (I really did, I hate him), pushing the clipboard on his chest. "Will help me."

"Yes, m'am." He mocked, even though he knew he was playing with fire. "But I thought you didn't want me here."

But I do, did, I don't know, I thought. Potter could make a good job – if he wanted to, of course – and I kind of wanted to give him this try. Not that I wanted him near me, no way, it would be ridiculous if I wanted after all he did to me. Anyway I had already decided I would throw the best ball the castle had ever seen, so I shrugged my shoulders and ignored him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Decoration**

The first item on Amy's list was decoration, which I thought quite stupid since we're planning a Halloween party. I mean, every year we have Halloween parties, and this year we've already had one. I decided to dispose this topic, and would've had, if it wasn't for Potter showing up with his arrogant, stupid look and saying:

"So we're using the same decoration? That's tacky, why don't we reuse the food, too?"

I narrowed my eyes towards him to show how disgusting his idea was, but to make him stop gazing arrogantly and sarcastically at me I called another bloke of our group. James rose his eyebrows, probably thinking he would soon get rid of me – muahuahua, he can wait – and looked as though he had been hit in the face by a rock when I pointed at him and ordered:

"Potter is in charge of decoration, ok? Be sure it is _completely _original, will you? You're right, James. What a thought I had, reusing old stuff! Good luck!"

And I left, feeling really mean and really good at the same time. I turned my head round and saw him scratching his head as he tried to draw a good decoration on a sheet of parchment. I got so distracted that didn't even notice a pair of strong arms and hands – in the good way, course – grabbing me and putting me over someone's very tall shoulder.

"OOOOOH!" I screamed and shook my feet, deadly afraid of falling. All I could see from over the shoulder of whoever had kidnapped me were the school corridors, and as always, many students looking as if I were being carried by force to the Hospital Wing.

Only after I passed to the second step of desperation – resignation – did I realize I was being carried by the owner of one of Hogwart's best perfumes: Sirius. That didn't make me relax, on the contrary. I screamed even more.

"SIRIUS, MAY I KNOW WHAT AM I DOING OVER YOUR SHOULDER?"

"Phew, thank God you stopped wailing." He complained from over his shoulder ( the other way, of course, he wasn't speaking to my, hun, posterior).

"You kidnapped me, are you aware of that?"

"My apologies. Will you stop yelling and follow me?"

"Will you put me on the floor?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll go."

He grabbed me off his shoulders and put me as gently as possible on the floor, which I thanked him for, but couldn't hold my tongue.

"Where are we going?"

"Remus asked me to take you."

"Rem?" I asked, completely abash. I had just been with James – POTTER! -, Had been abducted by Sirius as a request of Remus. "Does Peter have something to do with this?"

"What? Why would he?"

"I dunno, the lot of you are always into stuff together."

"No, I guess he's at the kitchens. I have no idea why he's in Gryffindor if the Hufflepuff dormitory is right beside the kitchens!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Sirius is so sarcastic sometimes, reminds me somehow of James. And why of earth am I remembering him? I hate him and have no space for memories of this rat.

We got to the courtyard, and I saw Remus waiting for me as he always does when we arrange meetings: sitting on the fountain gazing at nowhere, letting the wind to its job. I love Remus, he's like a brother to me, and my companion, everything, and I'd do anything to help with his… Problem.

I walked to him without realizing, and didn't see Sirius stop to leave us alone. Remus smiled calmly as I sat down beside him, and when we found ourselves alone I finally asked:

"Need to talk?"

"No, but I've got a feeling that you do, Lils."

"Me?"

"That's right, you. James and I had a talk."

"He's an idiot, Rem, you are perfectly aware that I…"

"That you're too proud to face the fact that people make mistakes? He's rather regretful."

"Oh, he is. You should see the way he treats me on the commission meetings."

"He's hurt, too. Please don't interrupt me indignantly; I've already done that when he told me."

"Thanks."

"But, you know, he's changed. I mean… More."

"James, changed? The only thing he changes is his clothes, Rem, I'm sorry."

"May I tell you something?" Remus asked dreamily, and I frowned. "Course you can, you know that." I replied as if his question was so stupid I didn't even need to think before answering. "When I arrived at school I thought this would be the saddest seven years of my live, can you believe?"

"Because of-"

"My parents had explained to me that many fear werewolves, even thought I was like everybody else out of the full moon. They told me it would be better if I didn't mingle with people, and I agreed. I wanted so hard to come here, learn, be normal."

As he finished talking I felt my throat close and clutched his hand instinctively, feeling I could burst into tears at any moment. Remus smiled kindly and cleaned the single tear that fell out of my eyes. "Rem, you know that I-"I started, but he stopped me.

"I'm not done yet. When I arrived, Lily, it was better than any of my wildest dreams. I got into the train searching for an empty cabin, and saw you and Snape leaving one. I supposed, obviously, that it was empty, so I got in. You can imagine my surprise when I met James and Sirius, who were laughing so hard that scared me."

"I recall this day." I rolled my eyes. "Since they were kids James and Sirius liked to make a mess-"

"Indeed. I tried to run, but Sirius rose at the same moment and asked me what the hell – yes, he said hell – I was doing. I apologized and said I would look for another place, but he didn't let me. James laughed loud again and stretched his hand towards me, asking why I didn't want to stay there. I was shaking enough already, you know, I was forbidden to make friends, and shaking hands with that skinny, shortsighted boy had been my first infraction even before I arrived at school."

Hearing Remus tell me all of that, right there on the fountain, was probably one of the greatest friendship gestures he had ever done. As he took a deep breath to begin talking again I held his hand strongly in mine and patted his hair.

"Disobeying my parents completely." He moved on "I became friends with James and Sirius, and later on, Peter. By the end of the first year everything was so good I couldn't even believe it was happening. One only thing terrorized me more than anything: if they ever found out of my secret. The second year started well, but soon I was running out of excuses. My two grandmothers and grandfathers had already died again, about three or four cats became suddenly sick and I don't know what else I had already said so they wouldn't doubt of my disappearances during the night. James and Sirius were never foolish, and when I started disappearing after more and more ridiculous excuses, they grew suspicious of me. And what does James do when he is doubt?"'

"Surely he doesn't go to the library." I laughed, remembering later I was supposed to look angry when talking about him or his abandoned moods. Remus chuckled too, and I felt a clutch in the heart as I saw tiny wrinkles appear on the side of his eyes. Remus was destined to always look older than he was, and this detail made me become even more interested in what he had to tell me.

"You're right, surely not. He, Sirius and Peter followed me under that invisibility cloak of his. They saw me entering the Hospital Wing, when Madam Pomfrey took me to the Whooping Willow and left alone. Imagine how I reacted when, on the other day, the three showed up at the Hospital and opened the curtain behind which I was hid. They pressed me so much I confessed. I lost my ground, Lil. All of that wonderful first year passed right before my eyes as if it was the last hours of my life, and I lowered my head to wait for their screams of 'go away from us' or 'leave our dormitory!'. I really thought I'd have to leave the school, until Sirius, always the most spirited, laughed and asked: 'why the hell have you sunk your head?'"

I smiled unconsciously, thanking Sirius mentally for being so weird, but cool. He may be crazy and a damsel kidnapper, but he's probably the kindest friend I know.

"I raised my chin ready to get punched or something, believe me. I trembled so much I couldn't even move when they reacted, throwing themselves over me in a hug. All the bones of my body ached, of course. I was weak from the last night, and hurt myself from struggling. Even though all of this hurt my body, my heart was never merrier. It was the first time I experienced the feeling of having true friends, and I guess I've never cried so much in front of others after that day. My biggest fear just vanished."

"James can be a good friend." I admitted. Remus kept smiling, and I supposed he still had something to say.

"I was already satisfied enough for they accepting me and keeping my secret and I must confess I was upset when, after a week or so, James came up with a ridiculous idea: follow me."

"What?" I rose in shock, and he nodded. I rolled my eyes. "Are they mad?"

"I asked him this and a few more when he told me. But, you know, willpower was one of James and Sirius' qualities I admire the most. By the end of the fifth year they became animagi. "

"WHAT?" I inquired even louder, sitting closer to Remus. "Rem, are you serious?"

"I am. They're not registered, naturally, and also didn't attend any course. Sirius turns into a huge black dog, James into a stag and Peter into a rat. They went with me, Lily. It was foolish of me letting them do so, still is, but each full moon they go with me I feel more human. The good they've done to me is probably greater than I'll ever be able t pay back. James may seem an ignorant jerk sometimes, but I, more than anyone else, can tell you inside he's good, generous and the best friend I could ever have. That's why I think he deserves a second chance, more than any other excuse I could give you."

I went speechless in front of him, telling me all of that, besides asking for a second chance for James. I bit my lip and looked away, fighting against my own pride. I didn't know this side of him, surely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Band**

Remus' tale got stuck in my head, of course, and I dreamt for two nights about a way to reconcile without hurting my pride. Not that I had given up that way. He was an idiot, and one side of mine said he would never change, but the other really wanted to consider forgiving him and take a shot at this maturity of his.

The day we were supposed to choose the band I went determined to the Great Hall, and saw that besides the "united commission", someone (you know who, of course) had called Sirius, whose knowledge in bands and music in general was largely known. Somehow I appreciated his presence there, not only because of the useful help, but also because of Remus' tale.

"Today we will decide about the band. Potter, have you arranged the memorable and completely original decoration?" I turned gently towards him, who raised his thumbs so confidently that I was tempted to ask "really?" We stared at each other, enough to make him smile faintly. Not that Stupid Smile of the holidays, a subtle one, serious, of whom really gave everything for the task and was anxious to see the result. It kind of touched me. I cleaned my throat and started handing everyone assignments. James, I, Sirius and two more were in charge of choosing who to call.

"I recommend a very cool band called the Dancin' Poltergeists." Sirius smiled gassy, and I stuttered the pen on the parchment as I wrote down the name.

"We could call Celestina Warbeck!" one of the girls smiled eagerly as I wrote it down, carefully putting a negative sign beside it. I mean, I have heard it, and I must say the music would fit better at a funeral, not a graduation ball. I heard a low laugh, and when I looked I saw Potter peeking on the parchment. Pushing it closer to my chest, I gazed indignantly to him.

"There's the Bats' official band." He shrugged and suggested, probably to disguise the fact that he was peeking. "The name is Barty Berty Bats. They're fine, play the lute sometimes."

I noted the idea, gazing around for more suggestions. I tried to remember of all of the Wizarding bands I've ever heard and a name popped to my head, a name Marlene used to speak of so much there was no way I could forget.

"I know few of them, but there're the Doxy Taverns."

"I like them!" one of the other members whooped, as if my idea had been good. I smiled confidently.

"We need a music sample. Remember it must be good lyrics, we don't want to shock anyone."

"Celestina is beautiful." The hemmed and started singing (my voice is not so good, so I won't make comments about hers) "oh, come and stir my cauldron, and if you do it right…"

I tried not to laugh, I swear I did, but Sirius, who was dangling over the back legs of his chair, fell down, and James gazed desperately to me. I scrambled the papers loudly and she stopped in the middle of "I'll boil you up some hot, strong love" to smile. I gave her a fake smile and crossed Celestina's name out.

"Anyone else?"

"Dance, dance, dance, like a bat you dance, dance, dance. Kick and shout in the air, the bats are here!" James smiled and rocked sideways. I smiled unwittingly, but turned my eyes to the parchment.

"Sounds good. Sirius?"

"If you wanna roll like a f*ckin' wolf, then doooo…"

"No." I crossed the name of the band suddenly, and Sirius ceased to sing to look at me defiantly.

"Why?"

"Sirius, f*ckin?"

"What's the matter?"

"We're graduates!"

"So, everyone's adult!"

"I warned you, no swearing."

"Oh, come on! Everybody swears!"

"The parents won't like." I argued as Sirius rolled his eyes. There's only one complication about Sirius: he can't take no for an answer straight. Maybe I should've been a little more subtle, but I clearly thought he was mature enough to endure the fact his idea wasn't the best. Of course I was mistaken, and whilst I tried to recite (no way sing) the Doxy's song he would interrupt me with useless comments until I lost my patience.

"Will you stop it? I can barely remember the lyrics, let alone with you talking!"

"Oh, beg your pardon. I just think it's inappropriate."

"Why so?"

"It's bad."

"It was your girlfriend's suggestion." I shrugged my shoulders as if it was the end of the argument, but had awakened the meanest side of him, having to face the consequences.

"Obviously, since you yourself doesn't know any good band, do you?"

"I'm sorry; I did not grow up listening to the WWNN." I started feeling stupid as Sirius pierced me with his gaze. Naturally the sum of all these factors didn't collaborate at all with my spirits and mood. Sirius tutted arrogantly, and James hemmed, probably trying to dissipate the tense atmosphere which was forming over our heads.

"This is not the point, Sirius. Lily has suggested a band and we will listen to it, ok?"

"You called me here to hear my opinion, I'm just giving it. It's rubbish, the Dancin' Poltergeists sounds much better."

"They swear on the song, Sirius." I tried to justify helplessly.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, Holy Evans. Poor thing never heard a bloody swear before and now wants to teach me how to behave."

"I didn't mean it, though you seem to need it." I replied berserk and Sirius rose, suddenly irritated. I cringed on my seat, fearful. James rose as well.

"This decision is mine now."

He grabbed the parchment from me (not that I imposed any resistance, it was virtually thrown over the table) and looked severely to Sirius, who sat.

"Doxy's too tacky, Celestina Warbeck is so bad I wouldn't wish it to my worst enemy and the Dancin' Poltergeists are going to scare the guests. Barty Berty Bats the winner and they'll play the lute. That's it, the end, now go away!"

He said everything in a fraction of a second or so. I was frozen on the chair, just watching as everyone left and Sirius looked as if he had been hit by a petrifying charm. James arranged the parchments again and turned towards me, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry for Sirius, he can be very idiotic sometimes."

"It's ok, I wasn't so subtle when I denied the band, anyway." I rose, waving the matter away.

"Here, take them. Oh, and I was serious. The decoration is really nice." James winked as he handled me back the lists. I smiled shyly. "I know."


	4. Chapter 4

**Foods & Drinks**

With three weeks left until the ball I decided it was about time we decided about foods and beverages, waking up on a Saturday morning without breakfast in order to decide which road should we take in that matter. As everyone loves to wake up early on a Saturday with no classes I had an exciting meeting with them at the Teacher's Room, which was, obviously, empty too. I was apparently the only one stimulated with the perspective of free food and drink, since the first thing Kile asked was:

"Why are we here?"

"Well, as the ball is in three weeks I thought we could start planning the drinks and food that will be served."

"I'd suggest Honeydukes." Amy yawned as I wrote the name down, even though I doubted sincerely that the guests would like to spend the whole party eating chocolate frogs and liquorices wands. James raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"I suggest Rosmerta. She's nice, cool and makes everything. Beverages, courses and sweets. I just doubt it will be cheap."

As I wrote the idea now I felt a pinch, as though I was being watched. I elevated my eyes and caught him observing me distractedly. James had changed a lot since that disgraceful party of Sirius. His hair was longer, and now he ceased to keep messing it up all the time. Days before I had seen him defending a second year from Avery, from Slytherin, who was probably trying to curse the boy. He and Sirius had stopped to bother everyone, and even the Professors were starting to compliment them. I beamed lightly to him, and only spoke when we were alone, after I sent Kile and Amy to Professor McGonnagal in order to ask for permission to go to Hogsmeade to talk with Rosmerta and the owners of Honeydukes. Better said, we were technically alone.

"You know, I had another suggestion, but I dunno if it's viable." He approached whispering, and I frowned. "Have you ever been at the place where all our food is made?"

"No, but I suppose there are cooks here. Every school does."

You can call me lazy, disinterested, but I've never really cared about who made the food, and really thought there would be cooks. After all cooking must've been much easier with magic. James shook his head as I raised the hypothesis, and after looking around, he ripped a piece of parchment ("hey!" I yelled as he did it) and wrote a note saying we were out to solve an issue with the food (he really wrote "issue with food") and would be back soon, so Amy and Kile were to wait for us. Then, he pointed at the door.

I followed James to the Great Hall, where a few early risers ate breakfast, but he wasn't leading me there. He entered through a door by the end of the hall, which led to precipitous stairs that went underground apparently. When we reached a tapered corridor, dimly lit by candles on the walls, my heart stopped. What on earth did he want there, I asked myself desperately. I was about to yell about being attacked when James started heading straight. My eyes caught a glimpse of the portraits on the wall, all of them of a food theme.

Along the hallway I saw another staircase, which we ignored, and stopped by the end of the way, facing a dead end of stone with a fruit paint, a green pear stressed in vivid green from the other fruits. I stood rigid and put my hands around my waist, tapping my foot on the floor.

"Cool, a fruit portrait."

"Easy now." He laughed and started moving his fingers over the pear, sort of tickling it. I was on the verge of rolling my eyes and telling he has serious mental issues when the portrait started moving, reminding me that, as a witch, I should be prepared to see almost anything, including a fruit portrait which lead directly to…

"THE KITCHEN!" I yelled as soon as James and I passed through the threshold of the place. I must've rendered my chin useless when I saw about a hundred elves darting around, some carrying trays filled to the top with the same cake the people upstairs were eating, others flying with barrels of pumpkin juice to fill smaller jars. Never had my eyes seen so much food, or so many dishes. A mountain of it was being washed, a pile of plates, cans and pots which ended on the ceiling even though it didn't seem to upset the elves, on the contrary. The only thing that made them happier than seeing so many dirty dishes to wash was seeing James there.

"Mr. Potter!" an elder elf stopped cooking the soup he was working on (which was promptly attended by two more elves the moment the stopped) to talk to us. "What do you need, sir?"

"Hey, Quib!" James beamed amiably and kneeled to be at the same height the elf was. I lowered too, but the elf seemed outraged by the fact there was no one else for them to feed. Swaging his hands madly and agitatedly he called a near elf, who put about five slices of cake on my lap. She didn't stop to insist until I started eating, and then James started:

"We're throwing a graduation party, Quib, and we wanted to know how much would it cost for us to rent your work for a night. Full served dinner, beverages, service and all."

"Cost?" the elf wriggled his face until it became a misshapen mass with a pointy nose, as if the sheer pronunciation of the word sickened him. "You don't need to pay anything for the service, Mr. Potter. Quib and the other elves here are fully satisfied just to please you and your friends, Mr. Potter."

"Has Mr. Black come?" the elf who was "serving" me appeared, interestedly looking around. I beamed enchanted at her. Her eyes, as big as tennis balls and lavender as two pearls, shinned dreamily. Sirius is a dog.

"Not today, Yara." James tidied his glasses on his face and I felt a sudden affection for him. Lately he had been nice, gentle and generous, besides never missing an opportunity to be kind to me. I decided to procrastinate these thoughts for later whilst James bargained some kind of payment with Quib, who denied restlessly accepting anything.

"So, Quib, free, then?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Ok, bye! Be call, I'll come later to take the food." He talked loudly as many elves approached with tons of food for us. As the door closed behind us I crossed my arms.

"Ok? James, I refuse to throw any sort of party by which these elves are not receiving any payment! I refuse! I mean, I thought elves only cleaned, but they cook too!"

"They're happy living like this." James shrugged, and I started to revolt.

"I refuse to do it unless we pay them."

"I've got an idea. House-Elves hate clothes, because they mean freedom…"

"So what? Let's give them clothes, make them free!"

"Lily, believe me. Hogwarts is the best place for a House – Elf, freeing them would only make them suffer. I've had a long talk with Quib, he said Dumbledore treats all of them very well and doesn't care if something goes wrong sometimes. Wizarding families are far crueler to them."

"But your…"

"My family is an exception. Quib always said Dumbledore treats them very well."

I crossed my arms, resigned. If rumors are true, they'd better stay at Hogwarts, anyway. But under no circumstances I would use their service without paying.

"I want to reward them."

"I had an idea."

"What?"

"Can't tell, it's part of the decoration."

"You can tell me!" I assured him, but he just laughed and ran in front of me. "PLEASE, TELL ME! I'M CURIOUS! JAAAMES!"


	5. Chapter 5

**The Costume**

I usually hate choosing clothes, especially formal ones, etc. But costumes are different. I was the happiest when Alice, Marlene, Emmeline, Dorcas and I entered the store to select ours. As Alice got inside the changing cabin, Marlene threw herself on the red couch beside me.

"I just love the clothing store's sofas."

"I noticed." I mumbled with my head pressed against the stuffed seat. Marlene acquired Sirius' likeliness to throw her over and fluffy and irregular surface, and even though she tried to do it gently it always ended with me seating in some uncomfortable or weird position.

"Here, these are my options for you." The saleswoman brought us the hanger, and Alice took them all. Firstly she went out dresses with a red hood, a kitsch dress and brown boots.

"Little Red Hiding Rood!" she turned, remembering what I had taught her about muggle fairy tales. Emmeline raised her thumbs.

"I love it."

"It could be better." Marlene grinned.

"Next!" I clapped and she got back.

"Detective." Alice went out again wearing a mysterious look, and I giggled. She gave up on that, and the moment she showed again I yelled:

"THIS ONE!"

She smiled from ear to ear. It was an auror costume, with the vest, medals and all. Whilst she book the costume Dorcas grabbed her hangers and got into the cabin, leaving there dressed as a princess when Alice has already sat again.

"No way, the princess will be me!" Emmeline pushed Dorcas back to the cabin as we all chuckled.

"I wanted so hard to call Derek…" she frowned, and I cuddled her hair. It would really be a shame. Dorcas came back as a Hawaii girl, being casted out by Marlene. Then she came back dressed as a wolf, and I felt like sobbing. Remus liked her so much, if she showed up with that costume it would only be nicer.

"Great." I said simply.

"I don't know!" Emmeline yelled minutes later from inside the cabin. "This one is so pretty."

She showed her Greek costume. Look, I'm a fan an supporter of my friends, so I'll tell. Emme is beautiful.

"You look like a goddess." Marlene beamed. "Try the princess and compare."

Emme then changed the Greek dress for a medieval one, with a corset and slippers. We laughed so hard she took the dress. The next was Marlene, and as she dressed we heard someone knocking on the door. When I gazed sideways, it was Sirius holding a paper.

"Hey." I said, opening the door. He grinned.

"Would you forgive me?"

I stood still for a while, but then shrugged. "It's ok." I smiled, knowing he just got mad for the moment. I was going to ask him what the paper was about if it hadn't been for Marlene going out of the cabin, dresses as a gothic queen.

"Lene?" Sirius widened his eyes as if she was a recently made cake (?). Marlene turned so quickly she almost fell, her face becoming red and then, purple.

"Hey."

"Are you wearing these at the party?"

"Why, didn't you like?" she put her hands on her waist and Sirius approached her, totally forgetting he was holding a paper. I rolled my eyes and took it from him, who obviously didn't even notice.

"Well, I should be going, then…" Alice, Dorcas and Emmeline said at the same time, running from there as though a serial killer had just entered. I opened the paper, and there was only one thing written on it "sorry".

I smiled to myself, deciding to make James wait just a little more so he would know who was in charge here. When I turned to thank Sirius he and Marlene were already snogging on the couch, too occupied to notice anyone there. Feeling my face getting terribly hot, I ran to the saleswoman, who was at the front of the shop.

"I need a fairy costume."

"But won't you try-"

"No!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Company**

Oh, God. A week before the party and I still didn't have anyone to go with for the most important ball of my life. Not that I cared that much for it, it's just that I thought it might be nice if I went with someone cool. Alice was automatically going with Frank (they are so nice and kind together that I would be tempted to make them company if it wasn't for my loath for interrupting couples), Marlene was going with Sirius (they make a great match, seriously), Emmeline was with Fabian (oh, god, they'll suck together, Meaning, Fabian can't look at anything without making a joke, it can be deadly) and I'm under the impression that Remus will pluck up the courage and ask Dorcas out. By note.

By Wednesday I was beginning to get anxious about this company issue, and even more nervous because Emme and Lene wouldn't stop talking about the ball, who would wear what and mostly, trying to match Fabian against Sirius.

"Will you stop it?" I yelled when they were starting to depreciate each other's boyfriend. Both turned to me, and my face went red by the sudden attention. I kept my face high and stood steadily, until my eyes caught the glimpse of someone I needed to talk to. "Will you? Ah!"

I rose angrily and walked towards the back that called my attention. It had been years since I didn't talk to him. As a matter of fact I pretended not to see him since that day on the fifth year, especially facing the kind of people he hung out with. Severus was always my best friend, no offence for Remus, of course, who was probably the only one who never disappointed me. I was a few steps from Sev when I begun to think about what to tell him. I was feeling like forgiving him, letting all aside, and maybe go as friends to the ball.

"HEY! Snape!" I heard a voice call him, and when I saw Avery coming down the aisle I ran to a secret passage on the wall to hide. In the process I could hear what they said:

"What is it this time, Avery?"

"Are you ready?"

"I'm not aware of what you're talking about."

"Don't play the fool with me, Bella said that you was in. You're one of us now, we can talk."

"As I recall I have listed myself to serve the Dark Lord, not for a tea party with you. Do you know the date of our next meeting?"

"Next trip to Hogsmeade at the Three Broomsticks. See you there."

"Sure."

The voices and steps faded away, and I felt the urge to get out and scream at him. I've always thought he wasn't capable of doing such atrocities the paper said as being done by that lord. I thought he was my friend, and that it didn't matter if you were muggleborn, or even a muggle. But he deceived me, lied to me. And at the same time listed to torture and kill the ones like me. I walked adrift on the hallway, loathing the perspective of meeting Emme, Lene and her boyfriend's again. I stopped abruptly halfway and saw Amos Diggory, from Hufflepuff, coming towards me, and only then did I realize I had tears in my eyes.

"Lily, my dear, what happened?" he asked kindly, and I was so stressed that I think I said a little too much.

"Oh, Amos, much. I'm sick of studying for the N.E.W.T's , sick of people asking me how the ball is going to be, I have just been upset and no one to go to the ball with."

"That's no such problem!" he beamed proudly. But don't overreact, he's always proud. "You go with me!"

I gave a twisted smile, and he must have taken it for a yes, because he smiled back. I was too upset to notice, anyway. Amos, naturally, spread the news all over the castle, and by the end of the evening I was feeling as if I was being interviewed by the muggle press.

"But are you really going with Amos?"

"Amos must've forced you, he's so proud!"

"Lily, what were you thinking? Now he's going to boast about that for the rest of his life!"

"Can we talk, please?" Remus appeared bored near me, casting everyone away from me and sitting in a fluffy chair by my side. "They're no annoying, aren't they?"

I smiled thankfully and went towards him, needing a helping hand for a change. I curled to Remus' chest, and he hugged me. "You've really gone mad, Lily." He patted my head and laughed. "I need either to sleep or to kill someone. I guess I'm stressed." He laughed even harder."Going out with Amos Diggory won't do any good to you. By the way, I'm sorry to have noticed, but you look upset. What happened?"

"I don't wanna bother you with this." I said, Avery and Severus' words echoing inside my head. Remus went from relaxed to serious in one second.

"I've always bothered you with mine. It's your turn now."

We stared at each other for a whole minute, and he looked so steadily that I confessed. "Severus has allied himself with that Lord."

"What?" he said surprised, which only increased my pain. "How did you find out?"

"I was going to talk with him when Avery appeared. I hid behind that Scottish tapestry passage you told me the other day and heard everything."

"This is very grave, Lily, and you must forgive me, Snape and I were never the best friends, but I think this was just expected."

"I know everyone expected this, I just didn't want to see it being thrown on my face. Amos arrived right when I started sobbing."

"Relax, everything will be just fine. But I think you should consider going back to James."

"Yes, I could."

"Hey?" Remus gazed looked confusedly and I started laughing. "I thought you were going to kill me for this."

"I'd never do such thing. I don't know, it's just that I was happier when James and I were together. He's stress-free, has nothing to think about."

"Oh, he worries with much." Remus revealed in a mysterious tone, which only increased my curiosity. "Anyway, the ball is going to be great, I hope you come by to say hi at least. I'm going with Dorcas, can you believe it?"

He was so glad it made me feel better. We hugged and I felt someone's gaze darting my back. Me and my abnormal life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Party Hard! Party Hard!**

As I went down the stairs towards Amos, I couldn't believe the night had finally come. My years at Hogwarts were ending, which meant also the end of an era in my life. I was becoming an adult and also seeing my parents there, for the first time inserted in that weird and magical context.

"You're astonishing." Amos, dresses as lion, gave me his arm and we walked to the Great Hall. The moment we entered I had the urge to kiss James, kiss him and never let go. The Great Hall's sky was dark, with no stars, only a new moon shinning darkly up there. The four big house tables had disappeared, and in its place there were many round smaller tabled with black, green, yellow and red towels over it, and in front of the tabled reserved for the teachers there was a wooden pulpit covered in black. Owls fell from the sky taking nonexplodable luminous balloons to the guests and candles only fluctuated over the tabled, leaving the dancing floor dimly lit. On the corner of the saloon giant pumpkins had tables and couches inside, and the house elves were dressed as waiters (don't ask) and were roaming around the tables to serve anyone. It was so well done and tidy I beamed.

"I'm talking with my parents, Amos." I ignored his speech about how better decoration would be if he had made it and left. I walked to a red table and saw mum and dad waving.

"Lily!" mum sighed as she hugged me tightly, and I even felt proud of myself, somehow. They were so happy, as well as me.

"So, enjoying the decoration?" a known voice asked, and my parents smiled significantly to me. They naturally didn't know the reason why my and James has broken up, so they still loved him. Mr. and Mrs. Potter came just after, hugging me. I smiled amongst the hugs, and then walked away to have fun.

"So, how's the party with Amos?" Remus asked about an hour later when I appeared out of nowhere in the middle of him and Dorcas to talk. I grinned and looked back, hoping not to see Amos. He wouldn't stop talking about him and what his family had done that changed Wizarding history, it was starting to bother me. He appeared in the midst of the crowd, and I was running away again, thinking about how long I would have to roam around literally like a fairy until I died of exhaustion of something alike when Dumbledore called everyone's attention to the pulpit, a large smile on his face.

"Welcome to our school, parents and guests! We're here to celebrate, indeed, celebrate! Celebrate the end of a stage to our children, friends and students; celebrate because we can still be happy in the dark world. I will not linger, no, because this is their night, therefore I leave the word for our Head Boy, captain of the Gryffindor winning team of this year's school quidditch championship: James Potter!

James got on the pulpit under applauses, and bowed his head to the guests (he was dressed as Robin Hood, by the way) smiling. He cleaned his throat and gazed around, as if the was trying to find words to speak. He didn't carry any parchment.

"Well, I haven't written a speech. I don't know if it would be necessary to write down all that I feel for the years I've been here, no, it wouldn't. When I first arrived here, I had expectations, dreams. Every single student who enters here, doesn't matter if it's muggleborn or born already a wizard, have them. I had. And I must say that my expectations were rewarded with, in my opinion, is of more value that any classes of knowledge we may learn here: love. Love of your friends, who never hesitate to help. Love one for the other at a crisis. The love of your life."

When he said that, his eyes gazed intensely on mine, and I felt something warm me inside more than any other of his words. I smiled back, and he understood.

"The adventures, the lessons, tell offs, the detentions, everything made part of my life here. I've learned I can do much more than wave a wand and enunciate spells. I've learned I can use only words to help a person. I've learned a hug can heal souls. I've learned that your past doesn't matter, or from where you came from. That doesn't determine anyone's character. I've learned that the best friends are hidden inside skinny boys and freckled girls, and that that bossy brunette can be one of the most generous people in the world. I've learned that your house doesn't define you either. There are cowards Gryffindors, stupid Ravenclaws, brave Hufflepuffs, kind slytherins. I've learn to let go all the prejudiced. I've grown. I've learned with my mistakes. I've learned to fight for what was right, better; I've learned what was right. Nothing will replace the years that I've been here, and if I could, I would live them all again, just to learn everything again. Hogwarts was always a second home for me, and to everyone who participated, directly or indirectly, of my life here, I have one thing to say: thank you. I'll miss you."

When the stopped talking I burst into tears. I felt someone pass their arm around me, and when I looked beside, Sirius was drying his eyes, which were read, on his sleeve. Remus smiled in commotion, and Peter begun to clap. James ran away from the pulpit and threw himself over them, hugging his three best friends. I could feel their connection, this friendship. Sirius messed James' hair with so much affection I smiled without noticing.

"Beautiful words, Mr. Potter. Indeed, words do more magic than we'll ever learn here. Now, our Head Girl: Lily Evans!"

I got to the pulpit, so nervous I forgot what I was planning to say. Stimulated by his speech and by the smiles on everyone's face, I cleaned my throat and begun:

"I don't know if I'll be able to say so many pretty words as James just did, but I'll do my best to transmit, as he has done, all of my feelings about Hogwarts, especially for those, like me, who didn't know they were wizards and witches until the letter arrived. Unlike the ones who were raised by wizards, we had no idea what was going to happen here, and when we arrived we found a world completely different from ours. Many told we couldn't do it, told us to go home. I have only to thank Hogwarts, because it was it and many inside who made us understand we had to stay. I've found a lot. Knowledge, friendship, love. I'll never forget the things I've learned here, and I'm sure that I won't be the only one to come back if Hogwarts asks for help, just as the school will always be here for us. Thanks you very much, Hogwarts."

I smiled to the audience, which started clapping. Someone whistled, and my eyes met Sirius's as he winked amongst the people. James stared heavily at me, and only a sign was needed for me to understand there was more to be said. "Now we ask for everyone's attention to a message."

James ran to me, and as we stood beside in front of the pulpit he had we had (he really said "we") prepared a homage to some students and staff. Somehow it just felt so right. We, together, smiling to each other facing success. Somehow I had fallen in love. No like on the holiday, when all I felt was a little thing for his smile. It was love. Love for the boy who dissipated all the darkness created by this Lord, which had already consumed my best friend. Love for seeing him strong, mature and confident. Love for the man he had become. That moment, as James called the house-elves to bring the medals for the amazement of the crowd, I realized I would always be safe by James' side. That was what I wanted.

"Firstly." James announced, picking up the first medal. "According to the votes submitted by all of the students from the four houses, the best students of the year are: Remus Lupin, Mary McDonald…"

After hearing my friend's names, I didn't hear anything else. Remus was so thrilled he couldn't even hold the medal properly, and as Mary improvised some thank you speech, I felt Remus poke me:

"Did you know that?"

"No, but you do deserve this…"

"Lily, I…"

"You don't have to say anything."

Of course one of the "year's hotties" was Sirius, the "mummy's little boy" was Amos (who spent the rest of the night telling everyone who would listen that, in fact, his mother was very proud of him). Emmeline, along with two slytherins, got the "Miss Hogwarts" prize, and Marlene got the "Two House – Heart" for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. After that James called all the elves and made everyone clap for them, and almost all the students hugged them (unfortunately there's still much prejudice, but I loved the face of Mr. Mrs. Black were Sirius grabbed Yara, torque her in the air and kissed her. The poor thing almost melted.) By the end of the prizes the music started and everyone went to the dancing floor. I decided to take a breath outside and sat on the stone stairs from the courtyard, tidying my fairy dress, when James arrived.

"May I?" he pointed to the place by my side, and I nodded. "Did you like?"

"I loved. The elves were thrilled."

"They love gratitude. They're creatures, as us. And the decoration is it original enough?"

We laughed together, and I nodded again. James came closer and looked back.

"They're all so happy. I noticed Remus talking to you, what happened?"

"Oh, nothing. I think he's in love with me." I joked, and as James widened his eyes, I decided to go on. "Amos too."

"Big list, hun. Do you mind adding one more name on this list?"

I turned suddenly to him, and nodded. James smiled, and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up. He held my hands in his and drove closer. "I'm not the same anymore." He chuckled. "I prefer that way." And still smiling, we kissed.

"AREN'T YOU DANCING?" Sirius showed up, interrupting our, hun, moment. Marlene and him, dressed as pirates, were dancing to death, and Sirius was quite high with firewhisky, Marlene rose her eyebrows when she saw me and James together again, and she pulled Sirius by the ear inside.

"Let life come, right?" James suggested as we entered.

"I don't even want to-"I was saying, but he kissed me again.

"It doesn't matter where; I'll always be there for you. You know that?"

"I do."

And we danced. In some way this was a day that imprinted on my life, and much more elements collaborated for this to be the night of my life.

All was said, time to go. This year wasn't hell, after all.


End file.
